Tonights guest: Peter (fabulous) Greenwood

Silent Screams - Rockin’ All Over The World

It has been a while since I updated but this isn’t a genuaine update, it’s more kind of a look-see at how things are going. Kind of like in Clerks 2, it wasn’t a sequal it was another look at Dante and Randall ten years after the original Clerks.

So let’s see, I’m pretty much done with college although various assholes keep on wanting me to come back but I sure as shit do not want to yet. I’m happy sitting on my arse watching Doctor Who all day.

Catherine Tate is the new companion, in Doctor Who, I was hoping it was all some sort of prank but seeing as Beadle brain is now dead it looks very unlikely that it is.

But I am sure that your all as concerned as I am about the next piece of news I bring to you. It’s more serious thn the environment. It’s more serious then something that’s very serious. It’s even more serious then how much I hate _____ _____. I had to blank that out there, legal issues. No seriously, it’s legal issues. But if ya know me you’ll guess who it is.

The most serious piece of news today is:

Northern Rock is being nationalised. Now I’m sure that most of you, like me, have no fucking idea what this means so let me try and elaborate. Actually, to be honest, I’ve no idea what it means either so I’m not going to attempt to explain. If you want good news go to the BBC for fuck sake, not here.

Final piece of news today is this whole Kosovan thing. Today Kosovo announced it was independant from Serbia while Serbia said ‘no you’re not, fuck you guys you can’t say that’. So the whole deal is like if Wales decided to turn round and say ‘right up you all we’re leaving the United Kingdom, we’re going to have some ham and cheese toasties instead’. That’s alot funnier if you imagine that said with a Welsh accent. Anyway the whole issue started when something happened with Kosovo and the UN got involved and started a war which involved the EU and America. And not that Kosovo has it’s alleged freedom and independance, what are they doing??

Any ideas??

Got it yet??

Nope??

Well I’ll you what they’ve done, they’ve decided that in their infinite wisdom which isn’t very much cause let’s face it, they’re fucking stupid, they have decided to throw grenades at the US and UN embassies in Kosovo. That’s gratitude for you, isn’t it?? It’s sort of like how the Iraqies are so glad to be free from Saddam’s rule that they’re blowing us up, shooting out soldiers and desroying most of their own country. I mean if tomorrow the war in Iraq was over, if we decided ‘right we’re off, later’ then what would they be left with?? They’d have a whole lot of blown up buildings, dead people, hungry people and poor people. I mean true, a lot of it was America bombing them and them them bombing themselves but at least there are some plans to rebuild Iraq and make it better then new, Iraq 2.0 I guess you could call it. So that does again make me wonder, why are people so jet set against what could, in the long run, be better for them then before??

But that’s all that mattered to me this Sunday 17th February. My name’s Peter Greenwood and I’m not coping the Philip DeFranco Show on youtube. Great show by the way, love sxephil.

Posted on February 17th, 2008
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Heath Ledger and Other Stupid People - Part One

It’s about time I commented on the whole Heath Ledger thing but that’ll come later. I want to begin by discussing Bono. Recently at the World Economic Forum Annual Meeting he decided that Al Gore, you know the former United States vice-president who got bitch-slapped by George Bush in the year 2000 in a vote which still hasn’t officially been worked out. he decided that Al Gore was like ‘a priest’. Yes. He compared Al Gore to a bible bashing god-botherer. Now Bono, for his part was there to once again bitch, whine and annoy people about how Africa is still pretty much the arsehole of the planet and he spouted that about Gore. Now Al Gore is a lot of things. Pussy, whiner, little girl, award stealer, hypocrite and general al round know-nothing who has ideas about his station but a priest is not one of them. Sure Al Gore may be trying to help us all by advising us to save the planet but I do wonder, if George Bush hadn’t of stolen the presidency back in 2000 how much of his own advice would Al Gore be following now?? Would he of gotten rid of all the holidays and trips and everything the President has to take?? Would he of ditched Air Force One and taken a lighter, environmental efficiant aircraft?? Would he of taken a few bikes instead of twelve cars for his presidental convoy?? My arse he would of, he’d be all about flying and the hundreds of cars needed to protect his worthless ass. My point is that Al Gore and Bono should pretty much just die.

Not quite time for Heath Ledger, keep watching out for that.

My next problem is, and I risk showing my inner geek about this, is the new Star Trek film. Simply called ‘Star Trek’ (catchy title) it is set to feature the early days of the life of James Kirk. However considering that Kirk was about 30 when he originally took command of the USS Enterprise how much more is there to know?? Over the years there have been so, so many Star Trek books, video games and even TV series which have each added a little bit onto the life of Kirk so why specifically feature a movie about him at Starfleet Academy?? Do we REALLY need to see a 21 year old Kirk stumbling back into his dorm room drunk off his head and having it off with some alien girl as he does in seemingly every episode of the original Star Trek series?? I’m not at charge in Paramount but believe me if I was the very very very very VERY last story I would commision a film about would be James Kirk at Starfleet academy because let’s face it how dull does that sound?? Seriously??

And now the moment you’ve probably all been waiting for, my comments about Heath Ledger;

Haha. The ugly gimp is dead, that’s what he gets for being a dick.

Posted on January 26th, 2008
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Silent Screams Swipes Out volume 1

So I have decided I’ve held my tounge for far too long about several issues;

1. On the subject of gingers - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! End of.

2. On the subject of Jeff Li - you are also a disgusting creature, you deserve to die more then the guy who invented Guitar Hero does. I’ve heard you talk and I just wanted to smash your fucking face in within literally two seconds. Dear readers, I ask you, what kind of 25 year old man calls the police on a 19 year old girl for fuck sake. Although, what kind of man hits his sister and his mother and his animals?? You’ve got a surprise coming your way, pal, trust me on that.

Let’s see, who or what else do I want to swipe at??

Nothing for the moment but wait for volume 2.

And you owe me, you know who you are. And big.

Posted on January 3rd, 2008
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Planet Earth is a Fucking Mess

What the fuck happened to normal, good old fashioned common-sense?? I hate this fucking planet, bollocks to it!

Posted on December 18th, 2007
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Jetto Ninjin @ Silent Screams

Ok, so this is a quick recruitment drive out to people. I want everyone to immediately stop reading this and go and join Jetto Ninjin. The site is in my Affiliates OR alternatively you can go to jetto-ninjin.co.uk I love this site, everyone else should too.

Posted on December 10th, 2007
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Why Do People Write Books With Stupid Fucking Titles??

I’m sure by now you’ve all seen these alleged humour books. To name but a few; Do Ants Have Arseholes And 101 Other Bloody Ridiculous Questions? Why Don’t Penguins Feet Freeze And 114 Other Questions? And the ever-popular Does Anything Eat Wasps? Now maybe it’s just me but I am sick to the pit of my stomach of going into W.H Smith and other book retailers and seeing these fucking stupid titles for novels. Seriously, if Shakespear knew what he was unleashing upon the world he’d of shot himself in the fucking face. So I’ve decided to write my own online version, entitled, Why Do People Write Books With Stupid Fucking Titles That Only EVER Amuses Them??

Chapter one

Is mankind so befert of original, clever and witty ideas for novels that the idea for books now comes from two or more drunk fuck-wits down the pub sitting there on a boring Sunday afternoon wasting more money and braincells on drink when they could be doing something clever and productive and useful to mankind instead? And one drunken fuck-wit looks at the window ledge next to him and spots upon it a dead wasp. Now drunk fuck-wit #1 turns to his mate and grunts and snorts something completely unrecognisable to normal human beings but because these two apes have been mates for a few years they’ve clearly formed some kind of repartee with each other where they can understand each others primortial grunting. Now fuck-wit #1 has grunted and the grunt translates into ‘look a wasp’. His drunk friend who we’ll call fuck-wit #2 looks over with a half-smile on his stupid, ugly, lop-sided face and grunts in reply ‘is it dead’. Fuck-wit #1 replies ‘yeah I think so’ so both men turn away from the dead wasp and stare into their drunks for a few moments until fuck-wit #2 turns back to fuck-wit #1 and says ‘I wonder if anything will eat it’ and BAM! there you have your book title right there. Instead of leaving this poor dead creature where it is they then pick up it’s dead, decaying body and haul it around town. First they try to get a worm to eat it because they’re drunk and the worm looks around fifty billion times bigger then it is. But the worm slides away. Not put off these two fuck wits stumble forward into the night trying to find anything that can and will eat the dead wasp. Next morning between packets of ready-salted crisps, more lager and a football match where Cuntfaces United try to beat Cum-rag City, fuck-wits one and two relate their story to a new fuck-wit who has joined them for the VERY manly act of watching a dozen grown men run up and down the field kicking a ball. Fuck-wit #3 decides that is ‘well class’ and a ‘pure minted’ story and then the three fuck-wits jump up and shower each other with beer and manly hugs of affection when Fillius MeHoleus for Cuntfaces United manages to kick a ball into a net. Seriously, the only thing that’s more homoerotic then a game of football is Long Way Round, the difference being I like Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman. Now it just angers me when there are so many smart, intelligent, worth-while novels sitting ignored on someone’s shelf when complete and utter fuck wits are getting deals to write books to questions that no one has EVER cared enough to know because they’re not that fucking pathetic. Seriously you cunts, get a fucking grip and stop writing this worthless, meaningless shit.

Posted on December 3rd, 2007
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